Bryan [my now ex] and I get up and start getting ready. About 10:00-10:30 that morning, we head up to Barrow County to go before the Justice of the Peace and say our vows. Confess our love to each other in front of the JOP, his Dad and Step-Mom, and God. Say "I Do" for the rest of our lives. We did it alright, and we were beyond thrilled. He was finally my husband. I was finally his wife.
We get married, and then go out to lunch with his Dad and Step-Mom. We head home, take a nap, and then go and pick up his little sister from school. I don't remember the rest of the day like I remember the first part of that day, but needless to say it wasn't important. I do remember the next day and going to the SS office to get my name legally changed. I was beyond excited at the moment to go from my maiden name, to his last name. I remember how excited I was when I got my SS card in the mail. And I remember 2 weeks later [from the day we got married] going to the DMV and changing my license over, since it was also my 21st birthday. Again, I was beyond excited to have his name!
May 9, 2010
Married for six months and 1 week exactly. Two days prior to this date, I was told that my husband of 6 months needed some time to himself...some time to think...wanted to separate. I was devastated. Actually, devastated is an understatement. Fast forward two days, back to the 9th. It's a beautiful Sunday morning [Mother's Day, to be exact]. I am getting ready for church...I believe I was actually straightening my hair at the present moment. Texting Ken. [Yeah, you remember the small things.] I get this text message from Bryan "I believe it's best if we get a divorce. Don't call me right now, I'm with my family." Almost worded just like that. I cried. I dropped whatever I was holding. [I'm home alone, the rest of the family went to Sunday school...didn't get up in time.] I was stunned. I sent Ken a text message saying "It's over...he wants a divorce". I finished getting ready for church, walked to my room, and took my engagement ring and wedding band off. Still crying...actually, bawling now. Went to church, told my family, and had all their support. Told my sister and her fiance over lunch at a little local Mexican restaurant. Filed for divorce just four days later.
June 22, 2010
Divorce finalized. I was happy to go back to my maiden name. Happy to get rid of his last name. Happy to just be "Heather" again and not "Heather and Bryan". I went back to the SS office, changed my name, and went to the DMV. Felt so good getting all these things out of the way. I sent out a mass message to some close friends and Ken saying "IT'S OVER!!" I was that excited, people! Later that night, after everyone went to bed...I cried. I lost it. It hit me that I was single again. It hit me that we didn't honor those vows that we said to each other. It all just hit me. It was the first night in about a week or two that I cried myself to sleep.
Today. November 2, 2010
I look back on the past year, and see what all I went through. I am so much stronger now than I was a year ago when I said those words to Bryan. I am finally happy. I smile. I laugh. I have a great time. People ask how me and Bryan are doing, and I'm not afraid to say that we are divorced. Crazy how some people still don't know...my relationship status and name has definitely been changed for almost six months on FB.
I have the best support group that a person can ask for. I have an awesome God...wonderful family...and amazing friends. I have moved on...and there's a pretty amazing guy in my life. Didn't think I would fall for someone so fast, but I did. He makes me happy. He makes me smile. He knows how to comfort me. And he knows how to get on my nerves. Do I love him? I think so. But I'm scared to admit that yet. There is definitely a connection between him and I that I've never felt with anyone [including Bryan].
No, I'm not happy that I am a 21 [almost 22] year old, and have already been married. But am I glad that we got a divorce? Yes. It wouldn't have worked out. We were two totally different people. I know, I can't go back and change the past year, but, I do know that the past year has taught me so much about myself. And I now can officially say, I know how it feels to hit rock bottom. I know how it feels to have no where to go but up. And I've made it. I survived.
Wishing you the best!!
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