I WIL ALWAYS BE A GATOR HATER!! And a lesson on bets...

So as everyone knows, I am a DIEHARD DAWG!!! Always have been...always will be. So now, you will see where this post is about to go. To my fellow Dawgs, PLEASE don't kill me!!

This is why you don't make a bet...FB Profile Picture for a week...



My uncle on my Mom's side is a diehard Gator fan (NASTY! And I can't believe I just put those two colors together). Anyways, we made a bet about a week and a half, two weeks ago. That whatever team lost, the other person will have to change their profile picture. Well, I had one picked out. Loved it. But anyways, unfortunately, the Dawgs lost 34-31 in overtime. I didn't get to watch the game, but from what I heard on the radio, it was a damn good ball game. So now, the above picture, is my facebook profile picture for a week.





Instead, this is what I think about the whole situation...



So yet again, I have lost another bet. And as my title says, I will always and I mean ALWAYS be a GATOR HATER!! My aunt was commenting on my status and his wall post on my wall after the game ended, and Ryan said that I got out lucky. He would rather have the bet to where I was wearing Florida apparel the whole week. Well, I don't own any orange and blue that would go together anyways. I will stick to my red and black clothing that I absolutely love.

So, the moral of the story...don't bet unless you know you can win! And as always, I hope everyone has a great weekend and Happy Halloween.

P.S.--Like Corey Smith says "EVERY DAWG HAS HIS DAY!!" Well, this was our day! We barely lost though! I will finish with this: GO DAWGS...SIC 'EM...WOOF WOOF WOOF!! Yes, I will still call my Dawgs...even after a hard loss like that!

30 Day Letter Project: Day 11

Day 11: The Person You Hate the Most/Caused You A Lot of Pain

I know, it's taken a while to decide how to write this. But I know what to say now.

Bryan,

First off, I want to start with "sorry". Second off, I am so glad that things went ahead and fell about now rather than later. You were such a big impact on my life. And I have learned so much about myself and life in the past two years. They always say it's easier to forgive than it is to forget...and that's so true. I have definitely forgiven you for all the things that happened, and I hope you have done the same to me. But I haven't forgotten about it, and I know that I never will. I have finally gotten better. My heart is back in one piece. But I also know that there's a part of me that's afraid to love again. I'm afraid that I am going to get hurt. But I am actually going to keep this short instead of rambling on. Know that I don't hate you. But I don't consider you a friend either. I know that's mean, but I just can't do that to myself. I'm sorry. But I hope that things go well your way, and hope that one day, you find happiness.

Wordless Wednesday...God's Creation

Feelings...

I'm so tired of the drama. I'm so tired of the fighting. I'm so tired of the tears. I want to be happy. I want to smile. I want to stop screwing up. I want him to know that he means more to me than anyone else ever has. I hate how I had something wonderful amazing going for me, and I completely and royally screwed it up, again. I don't understand why I do this. I wish I had all the answers, but I don't. I wish I knew what to say instead of "I'm sorry" at times. I feel like there's a part of me that is trying to find a reason to push him away, because I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of where this is going. I'm scared that I'm going to get hurt. I'm scared that he's going to completely break my heart. I'm scared that I'm going to wind up in the same spot that I was in just a very short 5 months ago. I haven't cried like I have lately since May. My feelings for him scare the living shit out of me. I have never felt this way before, and I know I was married. I look back now, and I'm not too sure if I even loved my ex. Judge me if you want, I don't care.

These past few days (since last Thursday) have been hell. Nothing less. Thursday and Friday was just horrible. And I don't feel like even writing about them to relive them. I don't want to go back to those days. At all. All I know is that my feelings for him got stronger after we made it through those two days. Saturday, Sunday, and Monday were wonderful. Seeing him on Saturday and wrapping my arms around him just made things so much better. I feel so comfortable with him. He makes me feel so good when I'm with him. And he knows how to make me laugh and smile. Then today, all the drama started again. And the bad thing is, I know how close I was to actually having what I wanted. He doesn't know that I know, but I do. It makes me feel even worse than I already do. I really don't want to lose him. But I have a lot of changes to make. And those changes start today. I'm done with the drama. So keep me out of it. I'm done with the lies. I'm going to live life the way it needs to be lived, and stop hiding behind a mask.

Okay, I'm so sorry that this is all over the place. Like the title said, I'm just expressing my feelings. Hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday!!

Random

I know I haven't posted in a while. It's been a crazy week around here. Again, my life revolves around school, work, and home basically.

Where to start....school. Hmm. It's still going well. I dropped my Spanish class because there was no way that I was going to pass it. On Tuesday, I talked to my advisor about classes next semester, and we talked about possibly transferring. Well, the school we were talking about was NGCSU up in Dahlonega...which is about an hour and a half away from here. I talked to everyone about it and then decided that it was in my best interest to stay down here instead. If I was to say what made my final decision, it would make someone upset since this person said that they shouldn't be the reason I decided to stay home instead. But then there are also some good nursing schools that are closer to home than an hour and a half. Umm...my grades are pretty well. I'm a little worried about Math, but she's a weird teacher. Like she teaches weird. Instead of teaching, she actually gives examples and expects us to learn it instead. But back to the advisor, (I know I'm jumping all over the place. Trust me) we talked about my classes next semester, and needless to say, it's going to be a very interesting and long semester.

Work...well, I actually had another interview last week at Reynold's Plantation. I decided not to take the job for a couple reasons, but mainly because I absolutely love my job I have right now. It's one of the best jobs I've ever had. Business has definitely been on a rise lately, and we are hoping that it stays that way. The finally decided to officially close on Sunday's because our Sunday business was horrible.

Dunno if I blogged about this before, but there is a new guy in my life. He is pretty wonderful. But we are definitely taking it slow and I am pretty happy with the way things are going!

And the past two weeks, Georgia has pulled out a W and beat Tennessee and Vanderbilt!! The past two weeks have been a lot of upsets in football and the SEC and all around. I have enjoyed pulling for my teams and watching football the past couple weeks.

But I'm pretty sure that's all the updates I have for now! I know I will probably think of more soon! And I will try to blog more often too.

And oh yes, my oldest nephew turned 7 this past Wednesday (10/13). Happy Birthday, Michael! I love you and can't believe 7 years have already passed by!!

Get a Little Stronger...Sara Evans

Woke up late today,
And I still feel the sting of the pain,
But I brush my teeth anyway,
Got dressed through the mess,
and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stonger

Ridin' in the car to work,
And I'm tryin to ignore the hurt,
So I turned on the radio,
Stupid song made me think of you,
I listen to it for a minute,
But then I changed it,
I'm gettin a little bit stronger,
Just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hopin, that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinnin my wheels,
Lettin you drag my heart around, and oh,
And I'm done thinking you could ever change,
I know my heart will never be the same,
But I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay,
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger

It doesn't happen overnight,
but you turn around and months gone by,
And you realize you haven't cried,
Not givin' you an hour or a second or another minute longer,
I'm busy gettin' stronger

And I'm done hopin, that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinnin my wheels,
Lettin you drag my heart around, and oh,
And I'm done thinking you could ever change,
I know my heart will never be the same,
But I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay,
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger

I get a little bit stronger

Gettin' on without you baby
I'm better off without you baby
How does it feel without me baby
I'm gettin' stronger without you baby

And I'm done hopin, that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinnin my wheels,
Lettin you drag my heart around, and oh,
And I'm done thinking you could ever change,
I know my heart will never be the same,
But I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay,
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger

I get a little bit stronger

Just a little bit stronger

Little bit, little bit, a little bit stronger

Get a little bit stronger

Man, does this song hit home. I was on the way home tonight from Ken's and heard it on the radio. I made it through the first verse okay. Chorus...started crying a little. Second verse when she talks about how it's already been months and all...I balled like a baby. I swear, if the people at the stop light saw me, they probably thought I had lost my mind.

Anyways, after hearing this song and drying up the tears, I called my best friend and told her about it. She was the first person I wanted to talk to after hearing it. I told her about the song, and how well I related to it. (For a little side note, she was there by my side two nights before Bryan told me he wanted to separate. I had stayed at her house that night.) Then when I finished telling her how it hit home and how I balled like a baby, we talked about things. It has been FIVE months since that day Bryan told me that he wanted a divorce in a text message (what kind of douche bag sends that in a text message?!). But like I said, it's been 5 months...and it seems like yesterday. I have gotten use to looking at my hand and there not being a ring on my finger. I have gotten use to having the bed to myself. I have gotten use to not waking up in the  middle of the night and not having anyone beside me. I've gotten use to all this stuff. But it doesn't feel like it's been five months. It doesn't feel like it should be five months. Where in the world has the time gone?


At the same time, it feels like it has been five months. I have had the best support team I could ever ask for. My family and my friends have been so amazing through all of this and I know that I couldn't have made it without them. I also know that I wouldn't have made it through all this without God. As one of my favorite verses goes: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalms 23:4). I know that God was there for me through my "shadow of death" (the darkest times) and I had nothing to fear for He ws with me (your rod and your staff). I know that my walk with Christ has gotten so much better since I went through my divorce. It's not close to where I want it, but it's definitely getting there.

But I am going to stop rambling on. Basically, if it wasn't for hearing this song, you wouldn't have a post to read tonight! I was going to do Wordless Wednesday, but this got my attention instead! Hope everyone is having a good week and I will try to update soon or do a 30 Day Letter Project. The next letter is taking a while to write, I'm not sure what to say, mainly because it's to the person who hurt you the most...and of course, that's Bryan.

Playing a Little Catch Up

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Things have been crazy chaotic around my neck of the woods! School...work...life in general. I have to say, life is amazing right now. The guy that I have had feelings for since May (when I was told that my ex wanted to get a divorce) and I have finally decided that we think there might be potential between us and have decided to see where it would go. Needless to say, I am beyond excited! Yes, we are taking it extremely slow because I am not ready to get hurt or anything. He's a sweetheart, but he is older than I am. And when I say older, I mean by more than 2 or 3 years. But to me, age is nothing but a number.

School is insane. Not gonna lie. I feel like that's all I do now. I had to actually drop my Spanish class because I was doing horrible in it. So now that that's out of the way, I won't have to worry about failing a class. Pretty sure that I tried to take too many classes my first semester back after two and a half years, basically. My Algebra teacher is insane. She doesn't actually teach the class, but instead, shows us how to do things. Yes, I am a visual learner, but I gotta know how in the hell you get to that answer in the first place.

Work is going well. Well, kind of. I am actually considering looking for another job because our business has slowed down a lot and things just aren't looking good. But lately, I have been working between 4 and 5 days a week which isn't bad at all. But when you're getting only waitress pay (2.35/hour) plus tips (and business is slow), it's not too good. But I have to say, I love my job. I love the people that work there and I haven't gone to work dreading the day...besides the one day I had a hungover from hell. We don't talk about that :)

Football...UGH. Georgia is just having an off season. But I am so tired of seeing every one bashing them. Hello?! We have a freaking young team. AJ Green was suspened due to his stupidity. It hurt us. I didn't get to watch the game last night, but I heard they played a wonderful game until AJ Green went out due to dehydration. But I have always been and always will be a Dawg fan. GO DAWGS!!!

The only other thing that has gone on is my little sister turned 5 a week ago, and today,we celebrated her birthday. She truly was a princess today! She enjoyed it and had a blast. Pretty sure her favorite gift was either the bicycle she got or her doll. And she's walked around ever since opening her presents with her bike helmet and knee pads on. Too cute for words!

But I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I know it has been a great weekend for me!

I will post pictures later when I get the chance! Thanks for bearing with me through this random, off the wall post!