30 Day Letter Project: Day 10

Day 10: Someone You Don't Talk to As Much As You'd Like To

Kristi,

I know a lot of things have happened in the past year...basically things that tore our friendship apart. If I knew that some of my decisions would affect us the way they did, I would change them. But as we all know, I can't change things from the past. I have to live with them, and move on. I am sorry. That's basically all I can say. It's hard to believe that we go from being best friends since we were little bitty things (dance) to being complete strangers. I really hope life is treating you well, and things are going great with you.

Kristi and I, my 19th Birthday Celebration

Audrey,

I know, we have been through hell and back more than once. But now, I feel like there is no fixing things like the previous times. I miss you. I miss how we use to hang out and laugh at the stupidest things. And I am so proud of you! You made such a beautiful bride...just like I knew you would. I remember sitting down at ABAC or high school, or where ever else, and planning our weddings. Crazy to believe that you're married and I've been married and divorced! I really hope married life is going well for you and that you are happy. I wish you and RC a life of joy, happiness, and love. Congratulations! I am so sorry for all the hell that I've caused though. I hope things are going well and you are enjoying life!

Audrey and I, my 19th Birthday Celebration





30 Day Letter Project: Day 9

Day 9: Someone You Wish You Could Meet

My Dad's Parents.

I'm not too sure what all the grandkids called y'all, but I would love to at least have knows y'all. I know that y'all both passed away within a year of each other (or close to it), and know that it was within the first two years of my life, or something like that. From what I've heard, y'all were great people. I know you are looking down on all your children and grandkids, hopefully smiling and proud that we are carrying on the family name with pride. I still love going up to Carnesville, and seeing the house that Daddy grew up in. It's such a beatiful house! And I am proud of our Southern roots. I cannot wait to meet y'all one day! I know that y'all are standing at the pearly gates waiting on all the children and grandchildren to be called home! I love y'all, even though I didn't know y'all!

"My Kind of Crazy"

I have to say, I am in love with this song. Brantley Gilbert has always written good songs, but this one states the truth. I know one day, I want to be someone's kind of crazy. Listen to the words...watch the video! It's cute :)

30 Day Letter Project: Day 8

Day 8: Your Favorite Internet Friend

Hmm. I guess if I had to choose someone that I don't know in person, but know on FB or whatever, it would be Debra.

Debra,

I am so glad that you befriended me (or accepted my request...I don't remember what one!) that night you and I were cutting up on Ken's FB status. I enjoy reading all your statuses and laughing because you are crazy! But, I'll admit you aren't the only crazy one! I hope one day that I might actually get to meet you in person. Because you seem so sweet! But that's just what I can tell on FB! But I really don't have much to say, because in reality, there isn't much to say!

30 Day Letter Project: Day 7

Day 7: Your Ex-Boyfriend

First off, I have more than one ex. But looking through the list of things, this is probably the only ex that doesn't meet more than one thing on the list.

Robert,

Wow! Can you believe that it has already been three years since we went our separate ways. I am so glad that you came in to my life and I enjoyed the time that we were together. You were (and still are) a pretty cool person! I enjoy texting you and talking to you when we get the chance. I look back, and these three years have gone by so fast. When we were together, I was getting ready to graduate (and graduated from high school), and then spent 2.5 weeks over in China. Now, you're 10 hours away from me in Arkansas! Crazy! I hope all is well, and hopefully, will get to see you one day when you come home to visit!

Robert and I, Graduation, 2007

30 Day Letter Project: Day 6

Day 6: A Stranger

Stranger,

I don't know you (of course) but my name is Heather. I really don't know what else to say, because when I meet someone the first thing I do is tell them my name. So besides that, it's nice to meet you (someday in the future).

I Keep On Lovin' You

I Keep On Lovin' You--Reba McEntire

Love takes the patience of Job
That's what my Mama always said
Faith is the belief in something more than what you know
That's what the Good Book says
You gotta play the cards you got
Who knows what fate is holding
At times you gotta go without knowing where you're going

That's why I keep on lovin' you
I keep on lovin' you
Through the baby don't leave mes
And never will agains
And I promise tos
I keep on lovin' you

Lord knows we've had our share of fights
Our sleepless nights, our ups and downs
We've had plenty and then some of baby I'm gones and turnarounds
Sometimes I swear it might be easier to throw in the towel
Someday we're gonna look back
Say look at us now

That's why I keep on lovin' you
I keep on lovin' you
Through the baby don't leave mes
And never will agains
And I promise tos
I keep on lovin' you

Keep on lovin' you
Through the I take it backs...I didn't mean it like thats
I'd never hurt yous...Oh, I keep on lovin' you

I keep on lovin' you...I keep on lovin' you
Through the I take it backs...I didn't mean it like that
I'd never hurt yous...Oh, I keep on lovin' you
I keep on lovin' you...I keep on lovin' you.

This is the song that is seriously on repeat in my car. Since having a wonderful marvelous friend burn me the cd on Sunday, I have probably listened to that song about 50 100 times already. I am in love with this song. And the thing is, it's the truth. Especially the second verse. No matter how many fights, how many times you want to leave, no matter how many times you just want to throw the towel in, I keep on loving you. I have plenty of songs that I love and can play on repeat to hear it a couple times...but I have never played a song like this one.

30 Day Letter Project: Day 5

Day 5: Your Dreams

Dreams,

Wow. I have so many things that I want to accomplish before I die. So I'm just going to name them off and say why or what makes me want to do it.

1. Nursing: I'm pretty sure this is the only dream that is constantly on my mind right now. You know, you always knew what you wanted to be when you were a kid. Well, mine wasn't nursing. It was being a teacher. The Summer between my Sophomore and Junior years in high school, I decided that I wanted to become a Nursing major. I took Health Occupation classes and A&P (Anatomy and Physiology for you non-medical people) in high school and loved both of them. So now, I am trying to finish my core classes and thinking about where to transfer after cores are done. What kind of Nursing do I want to do? I'm really leaning towards L&D (labor and delivery) or Pediatrics. Not too exactly sure yet. I know I don't want to do the ER or trauma though.

2. I want to be a wife one day. I have always wanted to be a wife. I want to make someones day when they come home and for him to do the same. I knew that before I got married to my ex. But I know that I want someone to love me for me. I'm not going to spill my heart out here. This is just what I know I have always wanted to do.

3. I want to be a mother one day. I don't need to explain this one at all...or should I say, I don't think I'm able to explain it. I just know that I want someone that is more important to me than life itself. I want someone to be my life. I want to give someone life (the best that I can, without being God).

4. I want to be the woman, wife, and mother that God wants me to be.

I know I have plenty more dreams in life. But those are the main things I want to do.

S/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I will try to catch up with my 30 day letters tonight and tomorrow! This is the first free night I've had since Wednesday of last week, I believe.

30 Day Letter Project: Day 4

Day 4: Your Sibling

Well, I have six siblings all together. And if I was to write to all of them, this would be a forever and a day blog post. So what I'm going to do, I'm going to write my two older half brothers at the same time, my little sister (who is my world), and then my three younger half siblings at the same time. I know, none of them will probably read this, but I wanna do it anyways.

Shane and Dale,

I know we aren't the closest, but I respect the both of you. Shane, I love you and your family. You have the most beautiful and sweetest wife, and two great kids. Michael and Katie are the cutest things! I still remember the day that you  called Daddy and told him that he was going to be a grandfather with Michael. Remember like it was yesterday! Hard to believe it has been [almost] 7 years since he's been here! Seems like October 2003 was just yesterday. I remember the day Katie was born too. Seems again, like it was yesterday and not [almost] 6 years ago. The day after Sandy's birthday, and she was wondering why the doctor wouldn't take her the day before! I miss all of y'all so mucha and wish you lived closer than Colombus! Dale, I miss you so much! Hard to believe you are all the way across the country now. I ask dad frequently how you're doing and he updates me and lets me know. I remember when Connor was born...he's such a beautiful little boy too! Has those famous Strickland blue eyes and blonde hair that I missed out on! I love the two of you so much and wouldn't be half the person I am today if it wasn't for y'all picking on me! I am sad to say, I don't have any pictures of the three of us, or even one or the other. What a bad sister! LOL.

Sandy,

I would be so lost without you! I love you more than words can say and I am so proud to be your big sister. I know that we haven't always been close, and I know that I have screwed up plenty of times in my life. But you've been there for me when I've needed someone to talk to. You are such a beautiful person and you are making your way in to this world. I am beyond proud of what you've done so far! One day, you are going to make an amazing teacher and work with the deaf and hearing impaired. They will all love you! You have that kind of personality. I don't think anyone can help but love you! You and Justin are the cutest couple and I can't wait to see where y'all go in life. You will definitely make a beautiful bride one day! I love you more than words can express!

Sandy and I, Christmas 2007.

Tanner, Parker, and LeahJean,

I don't have much to say to y'all because y'all won't even read this. Y'all are my world. I would be lost without the three of you. Y'all are the best thing that has ever happened to me and probably the whole Loudermilk family. I have loved watching y'all grow and learn. Tanner, I remember the day Mom and Keith walked through the airport because they bought you home from China. I know you don't remember it because you were only 10 months old, but I cried. It was pure happiness to finally get to see you and hold you besides pictures. I remember when you crawled and walked. When you finally talked. When you went off to Pre-K, and then Kindergarten, now 1st grade. I am so proud of you and I love you! Parker, I remember going over to China as a family to bring you home. It was the best experience of my life! Going over to another country for 2.5 weeks and seeing how they live. 18 days. It was a very long 18 days. But it was totally worth it. You're my little man! I am so proud with how far you've came. You were two years old and couldn't talk. Now, you're talking up a storm. You get so excited that you start to stutter at times, and it's too cute! I love watching you learn and grow! I love you! LeahJean, where do I start? You're beautiful! I have learned so much sign language with you being over here and so glad that you are a part of our lives. You have also came so far. I remember when you first came over here and barely knew anything, and now, know so much! You're wonderful and I love you!! I love all of y'all so much!

Parker, Sandy, LeahJean, I, and Tanner, October 2009.



30 Day Letter Project: Day 3

Day 3: Your Parents

Mom,

Where do I start? I am so thankful for everything you have done over the past [almost] 22 years, but even more thankful for everything you have done since May of this year. You are the best Mom a person could ask for and I will always be so grateful of you. I am so glad that you gave me a little sister to grow up with, even though we use to fight all this stinking time. And I am so grateful for Tanner, Parker, and LeahJean...or should I say the Three Musketeers? Thank you so much for being there when I needed someone to talk to or needed someone to dry the tears. Thank you for supporting me and being there for me when I needed someone the most. You are such an amazing person and have such a wonderful heart. I'm pretty sure the best thing you've ever done for me was adopting the kids and teaching me to learn and grow. I'd be lost without you. I love you so much!

Mom and I, Senior Prom, 2007

Dad,

Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. You are such a wonderful man, and I would be lost without you in my life. I don't have much to say besides thanks because that sums everything you have ever done for me. Even though we aren't as close as we use to be, I am so glad for all the times we shared together. Between watching football games together when I was younger to you sitting in the stands while I marched. You mean so much to me and I truly don't know what I would do without you as my Dad. I love you so much!

Sandy, Dad, and I. Senior Prom, 2007.



Wordless Wednesday...Got A Lil' Captain In Ya?!

Life...

As I sit here, waiting on class to start, I think I'm going to update a little on life. I just don't want to do the 30 Day Letters and not anything else. I want to keep people (if anyone actually reads this) updated on everything else. This week is hard stressful. Thanks to three tests, and work all weekend. I'm not complaining about work, I'm just worried that it's going to mess up my studies. I can do it though, there are plenty of people that work and go to school at the same time.

Talking about work, I said I would tell y'all more about it later, and never did. So, I work at a little Italian resturant (yum!) here in my hometown, and wait tables. I definitely enjoy it! But I am missing out on seeing friends and all.

Talking about seeing people though...the weekend of October 14-17 is going to kick ass! I am beyond excited about it! That Thursday, I am headed to Millidgeville to see my little sister and go to the Brantley Gilbert concert. CAN.NOT.WAIT! That Friday, I will come back home to Athens, and head to the Corey Smith concert. Again, can't wait! That Saturday, is the Georgia vs. Vanderbilt game at home and we are tailgating, going to the Dawg walk, and then going somewhere to watch the game because 1. we weren't able to get tickets and 2. we are BROKE COLLEGE STUDENTS.

But that's life right now. Hope everyone is having a great week!

30 Day Letter Project: Day 2

Day 2: Your Crush.

Dear Crush,

You know who you are. So I'm not going to be naming names here. Anyways, I really like you, and you know that. I am scared about falling for someone already, seeing as I just got out of a marriage and went through a divorce just three and a half months ago. But I also appreciate our friendship too...and I am so glad that you have been there for me over the past 4 (CRAZY it's been that long!) months, and thanks for being there for me when I needed someone to talk to. No matter what, I will always look at you as my friend. I am glad that you walked in to my life when you did (even though I've known you a while before everything happened). I would seriously be lost without you. You're pretty amazing!

30 Day Letter Project: Day 1

Day 1: Your best friend.

Kayla,

I would be so lost without you. When we first met (through myspace, of course...thanks to William! LOL), I really didn't think we would be as close as we are today. Actually, I didn't think we would even become friends. But over the past four (I believe) years, you have became more like my sister than my best friend. We have been through so much crap shit that has bought us closer together, instead of tearing us apart. What all have we gone through? Three wrecks (mine)...boys....heart ache..football games...a marriage...planning a wedding...Homecoming...Prom...a lot of sleepless nights because we stay up talking about some boy and other things...three OCHS graduations (including mine)...your graduation that I wasn't able to physically attend, even though I was there spiritually...ABAC...fights with our parents...tears...trips to the lake (woot!)...my divorce...and so much more! It's crazy to believe how close we are. I am so glad that we were "introduced"...and so glad that this friendship has became what it is. I will cherish all the memories we have...and can't wait to have more in the future! Cheesy, I know. But I know that God has an awesome plan for you, and I am glad that I get to witness it! I love you, girl! Thanks for being there for me when it seemed like the rest of the world walked out on me!

Kayla and I, Homecoming 2007

Hannah,

Wow! I can't believe I have known you since 1st grade! I've known you more than half my life! 15 years, or so! I love it when we bring up the good ol' days when we talk about the cute little turtleneck and jumper dress I had on in my 1st grade picture. We, also, have made it through so much together. College. Boys. Marriage. Divorce. Car troubles (LOL). Tears. High school. Mr. Withrow's Chemistry class (haha). Engagements (mine and friends). Deaths of high school classmates. Sitting out in the freezing cold and rain at the high school state soccer championship our Senior year. Many, many, many amazing dinners/lunches. Baseball games (high school and major leagues). YWCO Summer Day Camp Counselors. And there's so much more than that. I am so glad that we bacame close again in high school and have remained close since then. You are one of my best friends, and I am so glad that you have been there for me through everything. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know what to do without you. You are so amazing, so beautiful, and have such a wonderful soul! I can't wait to see what God has in store for the two of us in the future! I love you, girl! Thanks for everything.

Hannah and I, her birthday, 2008.

Chris,

Even though we aren't near as close as we use to be, I still consider you one of my best friends. Like the previous two, we also, have made it through a lot together. High school graduations. Prom. Marching Band. New York City (what happened to moving up there for a year? Remember that one?! LOL). Universal Studios/Islands of Adventures. Boy problems for me, girl problems for you. Heart breaks. Many inside jokes. Football games (high school and college) GO DAWGS!! The DCI Trip to Atlanta with Jessie, Tina, you, and I when we got lost, and also saw the sign for "Tongue and Groove" (dunno if Tina ever told you, it's actually a night club). Broken engagements. My marriage. My divorce. College. I know there is so many more things that I can think of, but then it'll probably take all night to write them all down. But really, thanks for being there for me when there wasn't anyone else to go to. I have really enjoyed your friendship, and hopefully, when things settle down again, we can get as close as we once was. Can't wait to see what the future holds for you! Love you!

Chris and I, 2007, at the Kentucky-Georgia game...GO DAWGS!!!

30 Day Letter Project

This has been going around facebbok, so I'm going to do it. But instead of doing it on facebook, I think I'm going to keep it on here. There might be a few that I post on facebook, but with my past, some of these definitely get a little personal.



30 Day Letter Project
*=Completed.

*Day 1 — Your Best Friend
*Day 2 — Your Crush
*Day 3 — Your parents
*Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
*Day 5 — Your dreams
*Day 6 — A stranger
*Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
*Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
*Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
*Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
*Day 11 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
*Day 12 — Someone you wish could forgive you
*Day 13 — Some one you've drifted away from
Day 14 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Little Update....Looking back on 9/11

I know it has been a while since I actually posted. And I will explain why.

School: has completely taken over my life. I feel like that's all I do right now. (That or work). I have three tests that I am studying cramming for by Tuesday. Why do college professors feel like they need to cram all of our tests on the same day? Probably so they can make our lives a living hell.

Work: has also taken over my life. I'm telling you, if I'm not at school, I am usually at work. I'm not complaining because I need the money. But then there's part of me that really misses my Monday-Friday job I had during the summer.

Friends: what are those?! Just kidding. I have seen a few friends this week. I studying with one and saw two while having dinner. I wish I had more time to spend with them though. I definitely enjoy spending time with friends when you can talk crap about some things, talk about football, and so on.

This weekend has really been an uneventful weekend. Which I am not complaining about at all. I worked a double on Friday, and made a good amount of money...I wait tables, for those of you who don't know that. After I got off work, I went and had Choo Choo's with an awesome friend. We probably sat there for a couple of hours just laughing about random stuff. Saturday, I slept in and then watched Georgia get slaughtered by South Carolina. I'm pretty sure I can't tell you how much I dislike hate Steve Spurrier and those freaking Gamecocks. UGH! I had to work that night, and then again, still made some money, but not near as good as Friday. After getting home, I had to make sure I caught up on all my football games from that day. Today (Sunday), I worked yet again. Made a good amount for a Sunday. But that has been my weekend.

On a sadder note, Saturday marked the 9 year anniversary of 9/11/2001. It's crazy to believe that it has already been 9 years. These years have flown by. I remember sitting in my 7th grade Social Studies classroom with Mrs. Shanks. I was 12 years old. We had just got done switching classes, and before I went in someone told me that they think that a plane crashed in to a building in NYC. Mrs. Shanks didn't say anything about it, so I just shrugged it off. Literally 5 minutes later, our principal at the time came on the intercom in a very serious tone, and told us that America was indeed under attack. So we turned on the television, and in all our classes that day, all we did was watch tv. Talk about freaking out. What was a 12 year old suppose to do when they hear something like this? I was a car rider at the time, and when my Dad picked me up, I remember asking what all was going on and if we were going to be okay. I later learned that I have a distant cousin that was in the basement of the Pentagon when it was attacked. He got out safely. But I feel all the innocent lives that were killed that day. I still get chills thinking about that horrific day. I am so glad that our country pulled together as one nation UNDER GOD after that day, but it's also sad that it took a tragedy like this one to come together. I am so thankful for the brave firefighters and police officers that put their lives on the line that day. And I am thankful now for the men and women who put their lives on the line every day while fighting for our freedom overseas. As a military sister, I send my prayers over there every night and they are always in my mind.

Wordless Wednesday...FALL IS ON THE WAY!

Failure To Launch...

I know that I failed big time trying to blog 5 times this past week. Last week was insane between school and work. I am slowly  getting in to the swing of things with going to school 5 days a week and then working too. I know, it'll become easier with time. Always does.

Anyways, I am so excited that this was a long weekend! Saturday...I watched my Dawgs play...GO DAWGS! They won of course, but seeing as they were playing a crappy school...no surprise there. We spent Saturday up in Atlanta at my aunts house. Lots of fun to go around. Spending time with family has always been fun!

Sunday, I had to work lunch (we had one table the entire time!) and then went and spent the time on Lake Oconee with some friends from church. Lots of fun! For dinner that night, we had low country boil which was good amazing. Definitely ate way too much.

But I hope everyone has had a great long weekend and I'll try to update more regularly this week.

Wordless Wednesday...Friends